Merciful Love

On Saturday I had the privilege of going on a Lenten Mercy Retreat at our parish.

The retreat was titled Tools for Lenten Mercy.

My parents were presenting as well as Jaime Thietten.

My heart is full with thanks to Loretta Poxleitner who made Saturday's retreat happen. It really was just what I needed whether I knew it or not. 

Those who gave up their Saturday and who knows how much more did an amazing job.

The music, the talks, reflection, Q&A, Divine Mercy Chaplet, communion with those around me, Mass etc... It was all so beautiful!

I want to share this youtube video clip with you. My parents used it in their presentation. It's scenes from The Passion of the Christ put to the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

I cannot begin to use words of how this touched my heart. I can only show you. But I cannot force you to watch the video. Click the link and hear if nothing else the lyrics of the Chaplet. You don't have to be Catholic to pray this. Our world needs the Father's mercy. It needs our prayers to ask for that mercy. Join with me in doing so by praying for mercy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFXFC7K9rLM

I was kneeling in prayer bawling my eyes out.

I've heard it over and over, Jesus would die on that cross again even if it meant just to save me. Me. 

He suffered what I can't even begin to describe. The thorns, the beatings, the scourging, the hooks on the ends of those whips pealing off chunks of skin, nails through his flesh and bones, humiliation and pain of hanging on a cross and so much more. 

Do I even know what suffering is? No. I have not even the slightest idea. Nor the smallest taste compared to the suffering he bore for me... 

As I knelt, clutching my rosary beads, singing through tears I couldn't help but want Jesus. 

Want. Jesus.

And why wouldn't I want someone who loves me so much that they'd suffer the most crucial passion and death for me? 

That's what true love is. Love that is so precious it is worth dying for. 

But true love... 

http://youtu.be/UPsNTyUm5UU 

Sorry I couldn't help myself... 

True love isn't what we see in the Disney movies... 

It's who we see on that cross. 

I also couldn't help but think my sister sister gets to be His bride. Little bit jealous. Just a 'widdle bit. 

I came home from the retreat that night and laid in bed feeling overwhelmed. 

Overwhelmed in the sense that my heart literally felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. 

I could not contain my love for Him. 

Why hasn't this happened before? 

I've prayed the chaplet tons of times. I've gone on retreats in the past. I've watched the movie the Passion... 

I don't think I will ever know. All I do know is that I am grateful beyond grateful. 

I laid in bed with my heart on fire for Jesus. 

Picture a bounce house and how there is that screen to bounce you back from flying out. That is pretty much how I would describe my heart's trial of an escape. It was trying to find the cross where my Lord, my Love hung. 

I asked myself what more should I be doing? What more does He want of me? 

I right away told myself I need to go to mass every day and really should steroid my prayer life.

Funny, but not in a "haha" kind of way that after telling myself what I need to achieve to "win" God's love (His love cannot be won. Only experienced.) My next thought was I don't want to get up early every day to go to mass. Then I lectured myself about God loves me so much he was willing to die for me and I can't even get myself to get out of bed. Then I came back with well I couldn't go to mass on such a such a day because of work... (Excuses, excuses.) I then stopped myself from the whole conversation I was having in my head. 

I remembered what was mentioned at the retreat that day. 

Going to summarize here... 

It is beautiful and good to go to mass and adore our Lord. But we need to not only acknowledge Him at church but everywhere. We need to act on our love for Him. 

Yes, going to mass and doing more for Jesus are beautiful. At this point in my life though I believe I am called to do what the Little Flower did. Little things. With great love. 

I decided to listen to God's voice rather than my own several voices I had going on in my head. 

To trust in his infinite Mercy. 

Through this retreat I have come to love the Divine Mercy so, so much. 

My heart still bursts with love for Him. 

Thank you Lord for pouring out your mercy through the cross and Resurrection. 

~ Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Mathew 5:7 ~