Holy Thursday
Today is the beginning of Triduum. (Truduum being the three day period between now and Easter Sunday.)
The beginning of Christ's passion.
Today is holy Thursday.
I really struggle with holy week.
Not the services, or the longer masses, or anything along those lines. But I have the hardest time being sad.
Every Good Friday (that's once a year) my heart breaks. The passion is real.
This year I am not sure if I can watch the Passion of the Christ.
The ache inside my heart by just the thought is already so much for me to handle.
I use to think when people would tell me they're never watching the Passion again that they were pushing away the thought of what really happened. Now I understand.
I understand that Jesus will meet us where we are at wherever we are at in our lives.
He speaks to our hearts in more than one way.
He understands.
And he understands how sad and hurt I feel on this particular day.
He too feels sad and hurt.
And that's what hurts me most. That it is me who hurts him.
So the day before Good Friday is a long day of anxiety. Knowing what will happen because of what happened.
My heart breaks.
My God, my God. I am sorry.
Yet you love me still. You are merciful.
Even when I too like your followers want and choose to run rather than endure the cross you still love me.
You share with me new life through your most precious body and precious blood.
The beginning of Christ's passion.
Today is holy Thursday.
I really struggle with holy week.
Not the services, or the longer masses, or anything along those lines. But I have the hardest time being sad.
Every Good Friday (that's once a year) my heart breaks. The passion is real.
This year I am not sure if I can watch the Passion of the Christ.
The ache inside my heart by just the thought is already so much for me to handle.
I use to think when people would tell me they're never watching the Passion again that they were pushing away the thought of what really happened. Now I understand.
I understand that Jesus will meet us where we are at wherever we are at in our lives.
He speaks to our hearts in more than one way.
He understands.
And he understands how sad and hurt I feel on this particular day.
He too feels sad and hurt.
And that's what hurts me most. That it is me who hurts him.
So the day before Good Friday is a long day of anxiety. Knowing what will happen because of what happened.
My heart breaks.
My God, my God. I am sorry.
Yet you love me still. You are merciful.
Even when I too like your followers want and choose to run rather than endure the cross you still love me.
As a result of this many of His disciples withdrew and were not walking with Him anymore. John 6:66
LORD, I ask that you help me to answer you as Simon Peter did:
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life. We have believed and have come to know that You are the Holy One of God.”
John 6:68-69
You share with me new life through your most precious body and precious blood.
So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For My flesh is true food, and My blood is true drink. He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats Me, he also will live because of Me. This is the bread which came down out of heaven; not as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live forever.”
John 6:53-58
Like your Mother my heart feels pierced. But it is your love that heals me.
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