Adoring and Receiving

Here I go again talking about SNW and adoration...

How can I not?!

I gave you the big picture of how big a deal it is.

However I didn't go into specifics about where my heart was at during adoration.

I have already mentioned that this was my third year attending.

The first year I didn't want to go to the conference period.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I was going to fake a pacer attack just to get out of going.

Mom claims she knew the whole time leading up to SNW weekend that I was planning to bail. Ha. Motherly instincts! Gotta love it!

I went and my time there obviously changed my life.

In adoration and throughout the whole weekend I knew I had to come back and share my story.

Hence the weekend's theme was "something something story." Very fitting.

So I came back, and I did choose to share my story. I began public speaking.

Gulp.

It was scary then and I admit I still get nerved up, but now y'all have to shut me up to get me to stop.

C'est la vie...

Last year's retreat was a combo of  things. How to handle life after highschool, our big move and Jordan leaving for the convent.

My point being each conference (though their has only been three) I have had something on my heart or on my mind that I knew exactly what to ask and talk to God about.

This year not so much.

I felt completely clueless as to what I needed...what I wanted.

Not to mention from the time we set foot on campus my emotions were taking their toll on me. I'd see familiar faces and start bawling. Yup, female hormonal problems. Hashtag tears.

Anyway...

There we are in adoration kneeling before Jesus.

I hear this reading being read :

   For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39 

I hear these words and I instantly start bawling. 

BAWLING. 

This was the reading I read at dear Mr. Adams' funeral. I felt his presence with me. How great God is!

I showed you all yesterday the pictures that were taken so y'all could have a tiny taste of what I am saying and what I have experienced. 

In those pictures, you can see how close He was to each of us there. I also explained about the spot light following our Lord. 

Well as Jesus was making His way to the back of the room, I made eye contact with Him. 

I was staring in awe at Christ.

I continued fixing my eyes on Him but the LIGHT, (notice how I used CAPS on LIGHT) was shining so blindingly. 

I bowed my head. 

More tears followed. Sobs. 

All I could hear myself say was, "Yes. Yes. Yes."

I wasn't even thinking as to what was coming out of my mouth. 

I looked up, the powerful Light had continued moving through the crowd.

My eyes then noticed the giant cross up on stage. 

I began sobbing some more. 

My first thought was this is my cross to bear. I may not be healed. I will do whatever it is Lord.  

I can't describe anything more. 

My everything is in His hands. 

Thank you Jesus for that weekend. Thank you for revealing to me what You did. Thank you for answering my unknown prayers. 

Thank you sweet Jesus. 

Pictures by Madison Rehder 

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