Home sick

I am going to begin by saying what I am about to pour out will either make sense or it won't. 

It seems in the past four years I have developed a phobia of being away from home.

This may seem normal to some of you but it's so foreign to me. 

As a little kid I was never afraid of being away from home. Not that I hated being home but that I loved the thrill of new and exciting things. I loved sleepovers, being at friends' houses, and going places for a long period of time. You get the picture. No fear... 

Now you can't get me on vacation without having an ulcer attack. 

I remember when we went to France I was homesick before we ever left the Tri-cities.  

Yes, this is how bad home sickness is for me.

In the past year I have caught myself wondering where "home" really even is. 

I mean I've moved about nine times between three different cities, it's no wonder I've questioned myself. 

Those houses weren't permanent and the one I am living in now won't always be where I am to live. 

This is just proof of how nothing on this earth is forever. 

Which explains my next thought... 

For about two or three months now, (Maybe it's been longer and I've just expressed it in the past two months or so) I have been home sick. 

Home sick for Heaven.

I am not thinking about the end of  my life, I am thinking about the beginning of my new one.

The life there in Heaven where we will spend all of eternity with Jesus.

I look around me and see the beauty and then imagine all of it glorified. 

Perfect. 

This is really hard to explain. 

I don't want any one to get the wrong idea about life here on earth.

It is precious. It is a gift.

I just long for me and My Father to be together in His kingdom.

For Jesus and myself to sit soaking in the ocean on the warm sand, taking in the sunset. 

For my Mother Mary's embrace in her loving arms, wrapped in her blue mantel of love. 

Oh yes, this is what my heart desires. 

To fear no more. 

To live in Your light, O Lord. 

Until that day where I meet you face to face... 

Homesick for You here on earth,

Your littlest daughter