Our Lady of Lourdes
Today is a very special feast day. It is the day Our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette back in 1858.
I hold this day dear to me for many reasons. One being St. Bernadette is my confirmations saint and another our journey to Lourdes, France.
Though I am always eager not to forget this feast day, I am also hesitant in my celebrations. Meaning I have mixed emotions about my life's story.
Pretty selfish, huh?
In 2010 when I was dying to go to Lourdes, (Okay, wrong choice of words...Awkward.) the pressure was on. Not only could I let anyone down, I was determined to not be let down either.
Again bad case of the selfish selfies.
I remember Lourdes in two particular ways. The good and the hard.
Let's start with the hard...
Like I said, the pressure of being healed in a miraculous way. Being homesick. (Still) thinking we were there for ten days when we were only there for three days. Feeling disappointment. Feeling angry. Holding a grudge. Choosing to be stubborn. Seeking my will not God's. Focusing only on what I am not or don't have instead of all that I do and am.
The good is...
The beauty of the grotto. The blessing of getting there. The gift of Fr. Bruce with us. The laughs we had. The songs we sang. The privilege of having mass in the grotto said by Fr. Bruce. Having the grotto to ourselves. Bringing there petitions and leaving with prayers answered... Such as miracles of new life. How tranquil the grotto is. The miracle of coming out of the bath soaking wet and cold (without drying off) being completely dried. The flowing river that one could picture Saint Bernadette gathering firewood and walking across. The bells that would ring as we strolled about. The shops filled with religious items we could bring back home for loved ones. The cool crisp air kissing our skin. (Poetic, eh?) The miracles and blessings that came from all of this.
It can still be difficult for me to look at pictures we took while in France. Even talking about our trip. Mainly because I am reminded of things I'd rather try to forget. However this is something that can not be forgotten. Even when I struggle I must face the beauty of my life, all it has and all it will entail. .
In many ways I am so fortunate and blessed.
Please, I seek still your prayers.
A gradual healing is in His plan. Whether it be fully completed here on earth or in heaven, I do not know. Our Lady's intercession to her beloved Son has given me hope. I continue to ask for her help in my daily life.
"O Jesus, I would rather die a thousand deaths than be unfaithful to you!" ~St. Bernadette
I hold this day dear to me for many reasons. One being St. Bernadette is my confirmations saint and another our journey to Lourdes, France.
Though I am always eager not to forget this feast day, I am also hesitant in my celebrations. Meaning I have mixed emotions about my life's story.
Pretty selfish, huh?
In 2010 when I was dying to go to Lourdes, (Okay, wrong choice of words...Awkward.) the pressure was on. Not only could I let anyone down, I was determined to not be let down either.
Again bad case of the selfish selfies.
I remember Lourdes in two particular ways. The good and the hard.
Let's start with the hard...
Like I said, the pressure of being healed in a miraculous way. Being homesick. (Still) thinking we were there for ten days when we were only there for three days. Feeling disappointment. Feeling angry. Holding a grudge. Choosing to be stubborn. Seeking my will not God's. Focusing only on what I am not or don't have instead of all that I do and am.
The good is...
The beauty of the grotto. The blessing of getting there. The gift of Fr. Bruce with us. The laughs we had. The songs we sang. The privilege of having mass in the grotto said by Fr. Bruce. Having the grotto to ourselves. Bringing there petitions and leaving with prayers answered... Such as miracles of new life. How tranquil the grotto is. The miracle of coming out of the bath soaking wet and cold (without drying off) being completely dried. The flowing river that one could picture Saint Bernadette gathering firewood and walking across. The bells that would ring as we strolled about. The shops filled with religious items we could bring back home for loved ones. The cool crisp air kissing our skin. (Poetic, eh?) The miracles and blessings that came from all of this.
It can still be difficult for me to look at pictures we took while in France. Even talking about our trip. Mainly because I am reminded of things I'd rather try to forget. However this is something that can not be forgotten. Even when I struggle I must face the beauty of my life, all it has and all it will entail. .
In many ways I am so fortunate and blessed.
Please, I seek still your prayers.
A gradual healing is in His plan. Whether it be fully completed here on earth or in heaven, I do not know. Our Lady's intercession to her beloved Son has given me hope. I continue to ask for her help in my daily life.
"O Jesus, I would rather die a thousand deaths than be unfaithful to you!" ~St. Bernadette
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