Another Holy Week

It's the beginning of Holy Week.

Honestly though, I dread Holy Week.

I dread it and I fear it. (I'll explain my fears in a different post.)

I do not like acknowledging my sin nor do I enjoy being reminded of my sin.

My sin that hung my Jesus on the cross.

In case you haven't picked up on it, I take everything to heart.

Especially shame. My shame.

I relive Good Friday as if I was really there.

Sometimes I view myself as the condemning one, other times I share Jesus's mother's heart, or I am the face of the women weeping.

My heart breaks.

Breaks because of my sin and for my Jesus.

He didn't have to, yet he did.

He was strong, but he chose to be weak.

He loves me and I do not comprehend.

I feel guilt.

He would suffer and die again just for me.

Me, a sinner.

"Father, they know not what they do." Luke 23:34

Lord, I see myself as unworthy yet I know you love me. Isn't that enough? 

Help me to accept your love, embrace your love and immerse myself in your mercy. Your mercy that flowed from the cross. 

Do not let me dwell in darkness. Do not let me run away like Judas.  

Your love is bigger than death. 

Your forgiveness is stronger than death.

Thank you. Thank you for loving me so.

Loving me, sin and all.