Be Not Afraid
Saying good-bye is not easy to do. I don't know which is harder...closing a door or opening another?
The past month, which feels longer, is a blur. Honest to goodness.
What I can't explain to others, I simply cannot explain to myself.
Hence there have been no blog posts here lately.
How do you write words of motions you haven't even caught up with yourself?
Thinking back to those five long weeks, I was going to say months, whoops, I visualize it all as life around me and far from me zooming past me yet I am somehow stuck in slow motion.
It has been one week since I have been home. Home on the prairie.
I got to finally sleep in my own bed for the first time in over thirty days. Praise God for my bed. And help those, no, help me to help those who don't have a bed. Okay, your help God is going to be a little more convenient to them. I'll pray. That really wasn't suppose to sound jokeish. Dang it.
I mentioned in my first sentence saying good-bye is hard to do.
It was hard to leave my house on April 8th for Spokane thinking I'd be back in two, maybe three days time. (I was a little naive.)
It was hard leaving Sacred Heart, and my nurses and doctors, after one week to leave to go to Seattle.
It was hard to say good-bye to Children's after three weeks?
I'm probably mixing up spans of time. Considering in one of my posts from : https://gabberdella.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=0hLxf00BAAA.nYzPz8bmZWdzSjOygKlfOA.cs-WAP9v87CF7KRA_4Z8Lg&postId=2226706152839954466&type=POST
It can be read in the first few sentences that I had been in the hospital over two weeks. It hadn't even been one. Gulp. Somebody was being IV'd funny juice.
Anyway it WAS hard after leaving my nurses and doctors and cushion of Children's hospital protection #HEPA.
I then moved into the Ronald McDonald House and stayed there (cordless, monitorless, IV-less) for a week. Then we left and guess what? That was hard. Though it was also exciting and the number one thing my achy breaky heart desired.
I have been in somewhat of a bubble trying not to get sick. One little cold and the show is over. No hugs.
With that being said, I have had to look down the road I have been avoiding and let go/say good-bye to things I love but cannot afford to have happen. Such as work with pee schoolers...
Heart sob.
All those doors shut. In such a long, yet short amount of time.
Now the fear of opening new doors.The fear of the unknown.
I read last night the words "Be NOT Afraid" are written in the bible 365 times. One for each day. God is not a God of fear. He lifts us up from those fears. He saves us.
Choosing to strive toward being not afraid. Through Christ who strengthens me.
The past month, which feels longer, is a blur. Honest to goodness.
What I can't explain to others, I simply cannot explain to myself.
Hence there have been no blog posts here lately.
How do you write words of motions you haven't even caught up with yourself?
Thinking back to those five long weeks, I was going to say months, whoops, I visualize it all as life around me and far from me zooming past me yet I am somehow stuck in slow motion.
I got to finally sleep in my own bed for the first time in over thirty days. Praise God for my bed. And help those, no, help me to help those who don't have a bed. Okay, your help God is going to be a little more convenient to them. I'll pray. That really wasn't suppose to sound jokeish. Dang it.
I mentioned in my first sentence saying good-bye is hard to do.
It was hard to leave my house on April 8th for Spokane thinking I'd be back in two, maybe three days time. (I was a little naive.)
It was hard leaving Sacred Heart, and my nurses and doctors, after one week to leave to go to Seattle.
It was hard to say good-bye to Children's after three weeks?
I'm probably mixing up spans of time. Considering in one of my posts from : https://gabberdella.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=0hLxf00BAAA.nYzPz8bmZWdzSjOygKlfOA.cs-WAP9v87CF7KRA_4Z8Lg&postId=2226706152839954466&type=POST
It can be read in the first few sentences that I had been in the hospital over two weeks. It hadn't even been one. Gulp. Somebody was being IV'd funny juice.
Anyway it WAS hard after leaving my nurses and doctors and cushion of Children's hospital protection #HEPA.
I then moved into the Ronald McDonald House and stayed there (cordless, monitorless, IV-less) for a week. Then we left and guess what? That was hard. Though it was also exciting and the number one thing my achy breaky heart desired.
I have been in somewhat of a bubble trying not to get sick. One little cold and the show is over. No hugs.
With that being said, I have had to look down the road I have been avoiding and let go/say good-bye to things I love but cannot afford to have happen. Such as work with pee schoolers...
Heart sob.
All those doors shut. In such a long, yet short amount of time.
Now the fear of opening new doors.The fear of the unknown.
I read last night the words "Be NOT Afraid" are written in the bible 365 times. One for each day. God is not a God of fear. He lifts us up from those fears. He saves us.
Choosing to strive toward being not afraid. Through Christ who strengthens me.
He, like the gentlemen He is, will hold the door for me. He will fight anything not of Him that stands in the way. He will carry me over the threshold when I want to run the other way. In His arms I can feel safe. I will be NOT Afraid.
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